Let's go back to Quito in the '90's, to the time when we had to say a difficult goodbye. During our famous three years in Dallas, Dan had finished through 11th grade, so he went into 12th here in Quito, graduating from the Alliance Academy, as all my siblings and I had done. He planned his future moves, and we watched the necessary separation start to evolve. He had to go on to build a life of his own, but our home would feel disoriented for a long time. I cried when his plane took off as he left for the States. In the next few weeks, every time I saw someone in the distance who looked like Dan, or walked like him, I got tears in my eyes. Debbie missed him sorely, a fact that surprised her now-seventh-grade friends. (There's a six-year age gap between Dan and Debbie.) They thought she'd be thrilled to have her big brother out of the picture! Maybe some siblings are that way, but not these two.
This was before the advent of Skype and at a time when e-mail was rather primitive, to say the least. For e-mails, one had to write out the messages one wanted, and only then try to connect to the internet so that the messages would leave! We usually had a long list of phone numbers that would make this connection, and if one was busy, you went on to the next..or the next...until you finally succeeded. (And if someone else in the house picked up the phone before you were done, it broke the connection and you had to start all over again!) WiFi was still a long way away! Besides, not everyone had computers back then, much less e-mail service. We depended a lot on regular snail mail. How we longed for Christmas to come, so that Dan could come home to us!
One great advantage to having our kids so far apart in age was that the "empty nest" didn't have to happen so abruptly. Our son left, but we still had our daughter for six more years! Some time after Dan left, I wrote this poem. (His middle name is Isaac, hence the reference to "Laughter".) Rereading it now, twenty years later, having watched Dan forge his way into maturity, with a solid profession, a lovely wife, three beautiful children...it still seems relevant.
TO DAN
You came to us, our Laughter-boy,
a promised anthem, starry toy
that spilled into our parent-time
your eager rhythm, restless rhyme.
You grew with us, our Laughter-son,
and helped our family foursome run
up hills, down valleys - highs and lows -
our hands outreached to hold us close.
They say you left, our Laughter-child,
and yet you're with us all the while.
We sometimes watch, sometimes take part -
your Maker's mesmerizing art
that spins your day and weaves your tale,
that bids you land, and then set sail.
We're here for you, with heart unfurled,
as now you learn to face the world
with prophet-eyes that seek the whole,
with poet's strength and dancer's soul,
as life is whirled from soft ballet
to breathless break-dance ricochet,
from rousing rock to lullaby,
from joyful shout to angry cry,
from table scraps to cake and cream,
from nightmare's ghost to Eden's dream...
You'll dance them all, my Son, and we
will love you through each act and scene.
Our footsteps wait...and with yours blend
to join His Dance that has no end.
-Becky Rhon
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If a mother can be so torn inside saying goodbye to her son, even knowing that she'll see him some months later at Christmas...but also knowing that, in addition to good times, he would go through tough times and problems - because that's how life is learned, I can't even begin to imagine how God the Father felt when He sent his Son away! He knew He'd see his Son again, but He also knew He had to undergo difficult and cruel things...because that's how Life could be gained for us. Amazing love!
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Thanks for joining me! See you next time. God bless you.
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