CROSSINGS AND COURAGE - my tribute to my mother at her funeral (My mother is...Part 4)

                          
                                      CROSSINGS AND COURAGE


When we kids were small and we lived in the jungle, Mom was afraid of crossing the rivers over "bridges" often made of one or two fallen, sometimes slippery, tree trunks...but she did it anyway, many times, because it was a part of the life to which her Savior had called her...and she loved Him.

When we grew up, she was apprehensive as each one of us left the nest, crossing the threshold into a life of our own; but, having prepared us as best she knew how, she let us go...because she loved us.

When our father crossed from this life to Eternity, she feared being alone, but she released him into God's arms....because she loved him.

We all go through life with fears of our own. It's not always easy.  Mom depended on the strength she drew from God, and from our dad.

                                   Yes, she had her fears...but
                                    she walked on, in spite of them...
                                    she gave herself, in spite of them...
                                    she trusted, in spite of them...
                                         because she loved.

                                   And is this not true courage?
                                  For this courage, I honor her!

She's Home! (My mother is dying...Part 3)

This afternoon, my mother finished her dying and began truly living, slipping peacefully into the glorious kingdom of Heaven.  She kept us guessing to the end!  She had ups and downs, rallies and declines.  When they figured she would pass away within about 3 to 9 hours, my younger brother decided to go get a much-needed nap.  An hour later, she left.  So only my sister and older brother were with her at the moment of her release.  We were called as soon as they thought she had a few hours left, but even if we had started out immediately, we wouldn't have reached her in time to be there, too.   So we will wait until tomorrow to drive the 1 1/2-hours to Winona Lake.  We had wondered if we would have to make yet another extension of our tickets, and I was counting my different medications to see if I had enough to last a few more days.  But now our wondering is over, and our celebration can begin because we know where she is, and that she is truly happy, together once again with my father, and - best of all - with her Savior.

Tomorrow afternoon we will have the viewing, and the funeral will be Saturday afternoon.  We know it doesn't give people much time, and not everyone who would like to will be able to come, but it was the only way to work it in before we leave for Ecuador once again. Next month, there will be another celebration of her life, when all the family members who can will meet at a park for a picnic and a time of sharing stories and comments about her.

I am writing out what I want to say at the funeral (I couldn't speak without crying, so someone will read it for me), and also a poem...which I will include in the next post.  Until then, please keep praying for us.  Thank you so much for your support and prayers!

Just curious, God! (My mother is dying...part 2)

When we left Winona Lake to come back to our daughter's house on Saturday, we stopped in to see my mom one last time.  A few tears surfaced as I realized it might be the last time I'd see her alive.  On the way out, we talked to the head nurse, who said she felt Mom was on the verge of her final downhill slump, but still going to be around for a while, and that if we were away this week with Debbie and Steve, we wouldn't miss anything.  I wondered how Mom's poor heart could go on working at all!  How had she managed to speak, sing along with us - just snatches, to be sure, but sing she did! - and ask for specific songs, and eat her strawberry ice cream!


Today, only two days later, my sister told me that last night Mom took a severe nose-dive, is only barely responsive, and is on morphine continuously. One of my sisters-in-law is a nurse, and it's her opinion that our mother might be in Jesus' arms, and greeting our father, as early as tonight. 

We had planned to all drive over (along with Debbie, Steve, Liliana and Miriam) for one final visit on Wednesday, thinking that we simply wouldn't be here for her death and funeral.  We had been wondering what God was doing...I mean, He worked it out for us to be here, covered the fee of our ticket extensions and everything, and my younger brother also was able to be here and extend his ticket...but if it was for the purpose of us all being here when our mother dies, why is she suffering on? We are scheduled to leave in a week, and my brother this Friday. What are You doing, God? (Just curious!)

Now, with this development, it looks like it could very likely turn out like we thought He was going to make it turn out! 

I can also see another gift He has given us, which is every bit as important: as we've been going through Mom and Dad's personal effects, we've been able to talk and laugh and cry, (but mostly laugh), remembering events from our common past, finding things we didn't even realize existed...and things we made Mom as children that she never got rid of - she kept them for decades...because her children made them for her!  We found things like her high school year book, her baby book, and Pogo comics from 1952!  She left me our grandmother's china.  We have been discovering more of who our parents were, and how they may have seen the events in our lives, from their perspective. What a lovely gift!

Thank You so much, Lord! 

My mother is dying...and getting ready for a Wedding!

I'm going to take a break from the adventures we've been through on our Journey.  A couple of months ago, we planned to come up to Indiana to visit our daughter and her family.  Since she lives only an hour-and-a-half from my mother, we would be able to visit her once or twice, too.  Some time before leaving Quito, I started to feel that maybe God was organizing things the way He did when my father died last year.

You may remember that we came up last year to have a last visit with my father, who was dying of pancreatic cancer.  We asked my mother which she preferred: that we come then, and hopefully get in some visits with my father while he could still recognize us and was responsive, OR wait and come up for the funeral.  We couldn't afford to make two trips.  She wanted us to come then, so we did.  And God called my father Home while we were there, so we were able to be at the funeral!

My mother's condition has been worsening, but lately took a decided turn for the worse, and I began wondering if, once again, God was orchestrating things - so that we could be here for her last days, be able to grieve with the family, and likely be here for her funeral.  I think He put the idea of visiting Debbie at this particular time in our minds, and facilitated the plan (she found us some super-cheap tickets), so that we would also be here when my mother leaves for Heaven.  Others of the family didn't necessarily share my premonition, but we don't all perceive things the same way.  The feeling never abated.

I flew up before Germán, and had a lovely week with my beautiful granddaughters; then, once he arrived, we drove over for the day to see my mom.  I teared up when I saw her...so withered up and helpless-looking, so heart-achingly frail.  She desperately wants to go to Heaven and be with her Savior and be reunited with my father.  She's not suicidal, she just knows what she wants!  She's tired and frustrated, and I don't blame her!

A couple of days ago she was accepted into hospice care, which is only for the dying.  She has had numerous health problems all her life. Now it looks like her kidneys are failing, and her heart is giving out.  She does not want any artificial life-support of any kind, and just wants to die peacefully...which is what will happen.  She drifted into a coma recently because her CO2 was way too high. But only artificial means will keep it from happening again.  The doctor even told us that, although it might keep her alive for a couple more months, it would wear her poor, damaged heart even further...and that would kill her.  So we are letting her slip away as she wants, and at the speed that God has planned.  Soon she'll drift into a coma, and then quietly take her leave. She is beyond the scope of any therapeutic measure - except the most important one:  being taken to live forever in God's presence of Love and Light and Joy!

As of yesterday, all four of her children are here, just as for my father.  We are ready to release her into God's loving arms.  We do as we did for my father:  sing hymns and choruses of praise, and thus accompany her as she starts out on her last, but most important, adventure!

My sister asked me, when I had just arrived, what we should dress her in when it comes time for the viewing.  I suddenly remembered something.  She had a special dress that she wore to all the family weddings.  In fact, she called it her "wedding dress".  I suggested we use that, because she is going to join those who are the Bride of Christ, and be ready for the Wedding Supper of the Lamb.  What great joy!...for her, and for us, even in the midst of our sorrow.  Our mother will finally be free and with our father!

Last night she said to us, "You may wake up tomorrow and find that I've gone."  How would she feel about that?  She raised her fingers and wiggled them, and sang out, "Bye bye!!" 

I will write more as we go on this last journey with her.  I usually write every week, but I will most likely write more often, depending on how things evolve, so you can come back here from time to time.  (I haven't checked in this morning yet to see if she's still with us.)  Many have told us they are praying.  Thank you!

Only 10 days later...there it was!

I had an electronic keyboard, and it was a blessing.  But one day I was really, really missing being able to

crash up and down the octaves, all over the keys, using the pedals, etc., which is impossible on a keyboard...at least the way I like to do it!  And I suddenly thought, "I've never asked God for an acoustic piano!" So I did.

I knew it would be a luxury, not a necessity; I also knew that we couldn't really afford one unless we were able to pay for it little by little.  At that time, pianos being sold and re-sold within the missionary community ran from $1500 - $2000, on average.  This was because it was not at all an easy thing to ship down, especially if the final destination was out in the jungle somewhere!  (Years ago, they didn't even make pianos in Ecuador.)  So they never really depreciated.

After I asked God for the piano, I just put the idea to rest.  Ten days later, Germán called to tell me that some missionary friends of ours were going to be going home to Canada because of the wife's health, and expected to be away for about a year.  They wanted to know if I'd be interested in baby-sitting their piano for them while they were away!  Free piano for a whole year!  I could hardly believe it...only 10 days after I'd asked for it...there it was.
                                                                                                           

It was only on loan, you say?  Well, that was a start, wasn't it?  But watch and see how God continued to orchestrate the answer to my request.

Only a short while later, we heard that our friends had decided not to return to Ecuador, due to the health issues.  He would come back to sell their things.  I immediately thought, "I wonder if they'd let me buy their piano, and pay them off little by little." We could manage, say, $50 a month.  It would take years to pay, and not everyone would agree to that kind of arrangement, but we thought that these particular friends would probably be fine with it.  I knew that they would have to buy another piano back home. Before I could even suggest this to them, God closed the deal.

Only a very little time after, we were in the living room one evening, and Germán was reading the mail.  Suddenly he shot out of his chair with a shout!  "It's yours!"  What was mine?  The letter was from our friends, and their message was:  the Lord had provided everything they needed to settle in back home (including another piano), and they were giving me their piano!  An outright gift!  I was stunned.

God gave me my acoustic piano, and made sure it was a good one! We recently had to have  it checked by a professional and he was impressed at the condition it's in.  (Our friend had pretty much taken it apart and rebuilt it inside.) Also, we were told that nowadays pianos are often made with just plywood.  But mine is made of sturdy, durable wood, indicative of its superior workmanship.  And it didn't cost me a cent!

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It makes me think of another Gift,  one of superior workmanship.  Nobody can afford it, and we can't "buy" it, paying little by little with good works. The only way to get it is to accept it as a Gift.  It's the most important Gift anyone could  receive, the difference between eternal Life and Death.

The Love of God, our redemption fully paid through Jesus, his Peace...                     .                                                                 what more could we ask?  And it's FREE!
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                                       I wish you Love, and bid you Peace!