I'm going to take a break from the adventures we've been through on our Journey. A couple of months ago, we planned to come up to Indiana to visit our daughter and her family. Since she lives only an hour-and-a-half from my mother, we would be able to visit her once or twice, too. Some time before leaving Quito, I started to feel that maybe God was organizing things the way He did when my father died last year.
You may remember that we came up last year to have a last visit with my father, who was dying of pancreatic cancer. We asked my mother which she preferred: that we come then, and hopefully get in some visits with my father while he could still recognize us and was responsive, OR wait and come up for the funeral. We couldn't afford to make two trips. She wanted us to come then, so we did. And God called my father Home while we were there, so we were able to be at the funeral!
My mother's condition has been worsening, but lately took a decided turn for the worse, and I began wondering if, once again, God was orchestrating things - so that we could be here for her last days, be able to grieve with the family, and likely be here for her funeral. I think He put the idea of visiting Debbie at this particular time in our minds, and facilitated the plan (she found us some super-cheap tickets), so that we would also be here when my mother leaves for Heaven. Others of the family didn't necessarily share my premonition, but we don't all perceive things the same way. The feeling never abated.
I flew up before Germán, and had a lovely week with my beautiful granddaughters; then, once he arrived, we drove over for the day to see my mom. I teared up when I saw her...so withered up and helpless-looking, so heart-achingly frail. She desperately wants to go to Heaven and be with her Savior and be reunited with my father. She's not suicidal, she just knows what she wants! She's tired and frustrated, and I don't blame her!
A couple of days ago she was accepted into hospice care, which is only for the dying. She has had numerous health problems all her life. Now it looks like her kidneys are failing, and her heart is giving out. She does not want any artificial life-support of any kind, and just wants to die peacefully...which is what will happen. She drifted into a coma recently because her CO2 was way too high. But only artificial means will keep it from happening again. The doctor even told us that, although it might keep her alive for a couple more months, it would wear her poor, damaged heart even further...and that would kill her. So we are letting her slip away as she wants, and at the speed that God has planned. Soon she'll drift into a coma, and then quietly take her leave. She is beyond the scope of any therapeutic measure - except the most important one: being taken to live forever in God's presence of Love and Light and Joy!
As of yesterday, all four of her children are here, just as for my father. We are ready to release her into God's loving arms. We do as we did for my father: sing hymns and choruses of praise, and thus accompany her as she starts out on her last, but most important, adventure!
My sister asked me, when I had just arrived, what we should dress her in when it comes time for the viewing. I suddenly remembered something. She had a special dress that she wore to all the family weddings. In fact, she called it her "wedding dress". I suggested we use that, because she is going to join those who are the Bride of Christ, and be ready for the Wedding Supper of the Lamb. What great joy!...for her, and for us, even in the midst of our sorrow. Our mother will finally be free and with our father!
Last night she said to us, "You may wake up tomorrow and find that I've gone." How would she feel about that? She raised her fingers and wiggled them, and sang out, "Bye bye!!"
I will write more as we go on this last journey with her. I usually write every week, but I will most likely write more often, depending on how things evolve, so you can come back here from time to time. (I haven't checked in this morning yet to see if she's still with us.) Many have told us they are praying. Thank you!
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