Years ago, reading a novel - I can't even remember the title - I came across something that so impressed me that I still haven't forgotten it. I'll try to give you an idea, although I may not get details exactly right. But the details aren't that important...the point of this incident is.
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Set in India, I think in the 1800's, a young British man married a lovely maiden, and although they started out well, in a short time he began to treat her badly. She suffered a lot under his abuse - mostly psychological - but she had nowhere to turn, and stayed with him.
One day he was wounded in a serious accident (or maybe it was a skirmish with an opposing band), with a head injury that kept him hanging in the balance for a while. When he began to recuperate, he saw his wife and wondered who that lovely woman was. He couldn't remember anything from before the accident. He seemed to recognize his environment, why he was in India, and what he was doing there, but his personal life had been erased by amnesia.
Once he found out that he was actually married to this lovely woman, he asked her many questions about their life together. The most important one he asked was, "What kind of husband was I? How did I treat you?"
What could she say? This was an opportunity to make him pay for his past mistreatment of her. She might have let him know what an insufferable chauvinist he had been!
But instead of that...she lied. She told him that he had been a considerate husband...gentle and tender...loving and seeing to their needs...strong and even-tempered...probably all the things she wished he had been. In a sense it wasn't a total lie, because I think she knew that he was capable of being all that!
And, because he believed that he was what his wife told him he was, he became just that! He determined to continue being the kind of husband he now thought he had been before his mishap.
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We tend to forget how our words influence the self-perception of others, don't we? My mom told me about a young girl who wasn't getting very good grades at school, and her mother would berate her and say she was dumb and even stupid, because she did poorly. So my mom suggested she use a different approach. She stopped telling her daughter that she wasn't smart, and instead tried to make her feel accepted and loved, and told her she knew she would do her best in school. The girl's grades began to improve....and it turned out that she was actually quite intelligent... but she had been told that she wasn't, so "why bother?"
Although this illustration from the book isn't meant to condone lying (that's not its point), it's true that choosing a positive, uplifting approach over a negative, down-putting one can often work wonders. Words can be very powerful!
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Now...what if there are conflicting opinions about yourself flying around...either from others or inside your own mind? Which ones are true? Maybe sometimes you're not sure what you are! (or even why, when, how and where!)
There is so much one could say, many books that have been written. But let's just remember that those of us who are believers in God and his Son Jesus as our Savior are: accepted and forgiven (Colossians 2:13). We are citizens of Heaven (Philippians 3:20) and members of God's household (Ephesians 2:19).
As if that weren't enough, God loves us so much that He expends incredible attention and care on our behalf, and we are objects of His...
-- love (Ephesians 2:4)
-- grace (Romans 5:2)
-- power (Ephesians 1:19)
-- faithfulness (Hebrews 13:5)
-- peace (John 14:27)
-- encouragement (Romans 15:4,5)
-- intercession (Hebrews 7:25)
The Bible says so, and God never lies! And if God cares for us, calls to us, seeks us out...that says a LOT about how very much we mean to Him, how valuable we are. He doesn't throw our sins and unworthiness in our face or rub our noses in our insignificance. Satan, the Accuser, does that! So which one are you going to believe?
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